My list of fears grows longer with the lingering ache in my head. I fear never finding lasting love, never growing old, a bike crash, failing a class. I fear I’ll never get to live a life I dream about, with a person I can depend on. I fear stubbing my toe, lying, wondering what is wrong with me, and wishing life would be easier. I fear change and lost friendships, food poisoning and pandemics. Car crashes haunt me, therapy heals me, I’ve come a long way and still heartbreak surprises me.

I had a conversation with you today, planning out our lives, houses we’ll buy, getting over a guy. I write this letter to you, as lightning flashes above me, crying again because I know you’ll always love me.